Prior to children, pooping was a relaxing act. I took my time. I got caught up with my latest magazines. It was a generally peaceful experience and left me feeling better.
Fast forward to today. I sat down and heard Maeve screaming. The dog was eating something that belonged to her so I got up to inspect. Dog licked my butt cheeck. Gross.
Sat back down only to have Finnegan come into the bathroom and shove a huge wad of toilet paper into his mouth. I had to get up to take it out and then kicked him out of the bathroom. I shut the door and sat down again.
Both Finnegan and Maeve came into the bathroom. The dog joined them and got stuck behind the bathtub in an effort to eat soap. I was happy to leave the dog there until I was finished with my business, but the children were very concerned. They tried to pull her out, they turned on the shower (not sure what that was going to accomplish) and Finn decided to go in after her.
To prevent my son from getting stuck, I got up again, moved Finn, lifted the dog out from behind the tub and kicked everyone out of the bathroom. I was smart that time though and turned the tv on to give myself a few moments of peace.